She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
Just got booed while taking a piss and asked if I 'call that a penis.' Get me the fuck out nf yankee stadium.
Okay you totally passed out. Ask me about the bike parking garage and the expired baby formula in the morning.
He doesn't fuck you and he's married, why do you keep letting him cum all over your stomach?
In the hopes he'll just put it in one day?
Just a heads up. Everytime I get arrested in Maine I claim I lost my ID and use your name.
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
I want to figure out a way to work "if you suddenly die, I might turn into an extreme hoarders" into my valentines day poem
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
There is no such thing as a great breathalizer story. That isn't a thing that exists.
Nothing like being buzzed at 10:20am off wine shots in Amish country
I bought 10 disposable adhesive bras and duct tape. If Home Depot can't help my breasts defy gravity, nothing will...
LMAO
I'M TOO HORNY FOR GRAMMAR!!!
excused from jury duty. THAT hungover...
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