I'm going to shit on something weird... I can't wait
the lady at Walgreens winked at me when i asked where the cherry chapstick was... damn u katy perry!
dude. she was texting with her nipple. I love touch screen phones!
I woke up at 5 this morning face down on my bed with gummy bears stuffed in my leggings. Yeah.
Good ideas don't start with we have a bottle of vodka..
The tent wall coming unstaked in the wind and hitting me in the face really sobered me up
didn't know how to tell his mom I was confused about how long we'd been together because we banged for a full year before making it official
I almost had to get my pinky cut off. Wow I'm so happy. We won beer olympics so i didnt hahaha
He ripped off his shirt and tried to give me CPR. That damn bong.
Dude, sorry for live texting you my binge drinking. If you'd like me to do the same for my hangover, I can share that I just had to sit down while q-tipping my ears.
This guy punched out a light, puked in the sink, stole the mailbox, then tried to tell ME that I had to leave the party... Then his dog shit on the floor.
Sailor Jerry came over for the evening. It was a magical evening. I didn't even get puke in the house.
After we had sex he told me it was a "goodbye gift". We haven't talked since.
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
did you call me last night and say you were being kidnapped?
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