the sham wow guy got arrested for beating up a hooker.
Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
he tried to convince me he was a seal.. sound effects included. and then asked me to 'be his lady seal'.
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
Aww. I feel like I need to kill a puppy just to make room in the world for how cute you are right now
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
Buying the inflatable beer pong table for the pool was one of the best investments I've ever made
AND HOLY SHIT FLUBBER IS ON NETFLIX
We were 69ing, but at an angle so we could both still watch Wall-E
Oh well, he'll live. He has a hand and a penis.
hes sooooo boring!!! I feel like I’m in a relationship with myself now. I have an 8 inch dildo under my bed, THATS how much I’m in a relationship with myself.
I accidentally made jungle juice last night.
I woke up in a boat, with a life jacket on, tons of beer cans and no lake... I was inside a garage. WTF
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