Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
btw, i had a dream i drank 260-proof vodka last night. thank god that doesn't exist in real life.
I was cleaning out my bag and I found some xanax wrapped in plastic with a note that said "use in case of emergency"
Should I tell her she gave me head in the kitchen while I was eating a cupcake or would that hurt her dignity too much?
The druken crowd just broke into singing "God Bless America" while waiting the newlyweds to get in the limo. My friend is eating rose petals.
I posted my balls on ericas instagram. It got 17 likes.
I had to drink a couple beers this morning so I could attend the keg race. Hangover had to dissipate or it wasn't happening.
I hurt so much. Not in the emotional way, but in the I went to dive bars sorta way.
wrestling a boy for fruit? sounds suspiciously like foreplay...
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
i woke up with fake boobs glued on my chest and a large black dildo on my hand. then i had to dress myself and walk home. people saw.
I mean, the night I fell out of that bus I made you pour vodka onto my wound to clean it, then duct taped a paper towel to my hand and kept drinking.
But like now I know, men who are vegetarians are significantly worse in bed.
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
This date is awful. He’s too boring to bang
Is porn accurate? Can I order a pizza and do the delivery boy?
Randomize
