People are allowed to visit it's just they can't be from Germany and have to wear masks.
I'm sitting in front of the mirror eating cereal and pondering how my boobs got so big
Welcome to my life
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
I can't believe im sexting my roommate. This is really what my life has come to
Everyone was passed out so I turned off the lights and locked all the doors. I also took the chicken sandwich in the microwave as payment.
I spent most of the night trying to drink out of three bottles of beer at once. I don't have to be told the reasons I'm single
It's cool, I power napped on the dryer while they were fucking in the bathroom so I'm good to go now. Where are you?
he may or may not have motorboated me on the steps of the library of congress
You know you are 86'd from the legacy right? You can't down shots then spike the shot glass
I can't. Currently naked covered in Nair trying desperately to catch his cat that rubbed up on my leg.
I hate that cat.
If you think you're having a bad day, know that upon waking up, I was informed that I blew my nose in a piece of bread last night
Is posting a pic on insta of my previously dyed blue pubes socially acceptable?
I wore a shirt that says "more tequila" to my bday party last year and that's why I want to be my own friend
Oh shit that's not good dude. I'd head straight for Williamsport hospital the first ingredient in that shit is lithium batteries. You don't want to know what the second one is
Family acid trip. They're welcoming me into the family.
What. The. Fuck.
Family acid trip.
Randomize
