dude, I'm watching paul blart mall cop. I have better things to do than listen to you whine about your recent divorce.
If I've learned one thing today? Blow jobs get you to state championships.
Alright. Who did it? Who's bangin' the ump?
just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
you make it seem like sunflower seeds and pinot grigio are not in the food pyramid.
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
Last night he tried to put me in their garbage can and then sprayed me with a fire extinguisher in their kitchen...that house is always interesting
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
I threw up in the darkest corner of the bar last night, then watched 2 girls freak out in disgust after walking through it. I then realised I puked on the dancefloor, took a picture and proceeded to send it to my mom.
Have you seen our bachelor? He's MIA. Last seen being led to some hookers by Kanye look-a-like.
He thought you were kidding about me peeing on my ex...and then I was like "that was one time"
He started a convo with me by saying that we went to high school together and then recommended I try meth.
I think our maternal nature is best focused on grown ass men and cats.
Taking out my recycling and 90% of it is alcohol and cat food. I am judging myself.
Randomize
