i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
i just used burnetts to get spraypaint off the floor of my dorm lobby
then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
You asked me to be the big spoon, when you passed out on the stairs
I see you felt the need to carve your name in my kitchen table. thanks
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
You're gonna die alone anyway. Even if you do meet a man, they die earlier than women. Best case, you have to deal with grieving over his death and then die alone a couple years later. Worst case, you get a terminal illness and he divorces you, leaving you to die alone anyway.
Thanks, mom.
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
she's throwing knives it scares me
update: broke ceiling. glass everywhere
I'm disgusted with myself. Who goes down on their Uber driver? This asshole
Dude, no, you tried to sleep on the stove. I mean. You were pissed when I stopped you... but I couldn't have you catching on fire in my house.
We left Waffle House and he took off running five miles down the road saying we were "training for the Olympics." And I mean, I couldn't leave him out there like that...
Randomize