So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
I threw up into my coffee this morning.
ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
Definitely just said "no homo" to our gay waiter at Cheesecake Factory...our service has steadily declined since.
knew i was gonna lose at a shoe or be bleeding at some point. and both happened within 20 mins.
What's a nice way of saying "You fell asleep, and I got bored, so I made out with your brother"?
Text me when you wake up so I know you're ok. It's really worrisome to get home at this hour and find 3 men passed out in my room but no you. Love you, goodnight. :-)
Just saw a guy walking down the street carrying a giant inflatable penis
Just arrived at our party
The guy at the Apple store said the warranty does NOT cover getting cum out of the keyboard. I can't believe I believed you.
The bond between me and cheese is something no man can understand.
All I've been thinking about for the past 12 hours is sex and SEAWORLD
Idk dude I just feel kinda weird masturbating in my Obama Biden 2008 shirt...
The end of the friendship was inevitable. I hooked up with her cousin and forgot to mention it to her
Randomize
