good penises are hard to come by.... must be the economy...
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
you asked the janitor if you could ride his floor cleaner.
Wait so they unscrewed the bathroom door to find you naked?
I vaguely remember having a 'grass is greener' conversation about our nipples. Dream or beautiful reality?
Beautiful, beautiful reality
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
I can't. I think his penis is about to take out a restraining order against me.
He leaned off the deck, puked a waterfall of beer, looked back at everyone and said "it was just a burp".
YOU DON'T JUST GET TO CALL AND SAY YOU MIGHT BE DEAD, THEN NOT ANSWER!
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
I'm pretty sure the girl in the stall next to me is waiting on me to leave so she can poop but I'm doing the same thing so it's like a Mexican standoff
i fell out of the car and didnt spill my drink. come overrrr
truly a win in your book
I think if you have sex on the couch it will psychologically damage it.
I couldn't figure out what was more important, finishing the shot or putting out the fire on my leg.
I. Love. Skype. Sex.
I think it's just been too long since actual dick has been inside you that you only THINK you love skype sex
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