bobby jindal makes me wanna cover my ears. you make me wanna smile.
foreplay: 7 minutes. sex: 3 minutes. cuddling: 10 minutes. getting dressed: 5 minutes. commute: 5 minutes.
Note to self: Don't teach the naked lap rule in beer pong until after youve made a cup..
That's the last time you suggest we can get our tab wiped by out-drinking the bartender.
It was my card, so what do you care that you lost?
Is your card paying for my plan b?
i tried to knight her with my dick. she said it was unromantic. what an ungrateful attitude for a knight.
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
I'm just saying, no one has ever made me laugh or cum as hard as you do. Sometimes at the same time which I didn't know was possible. Is there even a word for that besides love?
Of course I will... FYI I just gave my balls a crew cut.
I just traded 5 cigarettes for a sandwich on they greyhound.You owe me 5 cigarettes. I told you I would get hungry.
My inner pteradactyl is also confused.
Because my vagina is Ellis Island. All foreign penises must be presented for inspection and competency. God bless America.
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
As soon as he called me 'darling' in that Scottish accent... my pants just dropped.
we woke up when the front wall of the house caught fire.
Randomize
