Whod you bang
so ur a construction worker, male escort, sex god and surfer? lol
well its been awhile since I've surfed
Jason just peed on the potty all by himself!!
"omg awesome!, you do realize we aren't together anymore"
So I have $4.22 in my bank account, just wrote a check for a tooth brush from quikmart, and bought a 25 cent condom from the bathroom. i don't know whats more sad, my bank account or the fact that i'm entrusting my entire future to a condom machine that was probably last filled in 1970
she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
Just rolled over and realized my vodka goggles are not as functional as my beer goggles
I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
Some rando is vomiting profusely into the garden outside the employee entrance. Where are you when things like this happen to me?
Vomiting outside the employee entrance
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
Up until today, I never would have thought I'd have to tell someone not to color on the cat
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
The cat ate a weed mint. This is not a drill
His dick smelled like strawberries...it was awesome.
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