Last night started off great but became the saddest day of my life when i was drunk in a hotel room eating day old mac and cheese out of a yatzee cup with a coffee lid as a spoon...
I think the universe is against us being together. Or maybe it's just god's way of telling me there is a bigger dick out there for me.
Good thing you left when you did - ended up getting banned from jimmy johns.
My 10 year old son gave me a bottle of jameson for fathers day. Did you have something to do with this?
IM PICKING UP BLOW FOR US STOP WHINING ABOUT SEX
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
Why did the fire extinguisher taste lemony?
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
Hey sorry for being annoying last night, I just realized how many times I yelled "JORDAN!" during and after playing pong.
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
can we just punch him in the dick and call it a victory for feminism
22 is way too old to still be having "thank god I think I'm getting my period" days
She was all for the threesome til I showed her a pic of my boyfriend. I think I should re-evaluate my life decisions.
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
Randomize
