Im eating ham and mustard naked, watching south park, but its totally cool cuz the paper plate is covering my nuts
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
Does slim fast make a chocolate heart for valentines? If so that's what she's getting.
so my dad walked in on us having sex
lulz really? why?
lets just say he wont be answering to 'daddy' for a loooooong time
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
I wonder if they'd let me siphon the gas out my car before they impound it
Oh wow. Was walking and just saw her in the pool, fully clothed, ranting on an alligator float. I guess i should go get her before security gets here.
He had a 99.9% chance of getting laid...until he started cutting down the frat's volleyball nets with his pocket knife.
Dear future Eric, sorry about the Everclear. Sincerely, Eric +2 shots E.C.
And I really REALLY don't feel like cleaning cinnamon off my penis tonight.
You flew out of the bedroom, stole two Solo cups from the beer pong table, put them on your feet, clicked your heels together three times
Please tell me you aren't concussed from dancing on the stripper pole
I am going to piss jack daniels before daylight.
Daylight. It is daylight. Who will give you a ride back?
I hope no one. I want to walk and have a bus hit me.
SPICY FOODS AND BLOWJOBS DON'T MIX.
YOU SAID YOU'D TRY ANYTHING ONCE YOU LIAR
Randomize
