Job is the problem. Drinking, the solution.
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
Don't put random dicks in your mouth or any other crevice for that matter... and i'm home in 30 seconds
Wish I got that text last night instead of this morning.
Just made a photo collage of the girls I've hooked up with this summer. I'm patting myself on my back right now
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
I mean Grimace is basically just a big piece of purple shit and he is loved way more than the hamburglar just to put it into perspective
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
I'm mortified. After he finished, he turned to me and said,"So, what did you think of my mom?" WTF Please tell me he was not wondering about that while he was going down on me!!!
Yea. Some girl set a laundry machine on fire. She's not getting married.
He stopped in the middle of having sex to ask me what shampoo I use. Apparently my hair smelled good
We are planning a drunk snapchat treasure hunt for tomorrow, and the treasure is his penis, this is a game I'm not willing to loose.
How do you explain to a guy that he's like a little puppy dog that you play with, but then leave at the shelter to go home to your German Shepard?
It was a great idea until we got stuck in a ditch. We had to call redneck cousin 1
You don't know weird until you've had a musical wet dream about your older brother.
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
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