All I want to do is go home, strip down to my pants, get in the shower and pee down my leg
I'm going to jail i love you
I want to make a zoo with you.
Some guy on the train just glared at me. So I'm drinking tequilla out of a dixie cup. Go fuck yourself.
so then you were screaming "GIVE ME KELVINS!" and heating things up in the microwave and no one knew what you wanted
I dreamt I won the Huge Cock Championship last night. It was glorious.
Ricky Martin is gay. You owe me $10 from 3rd grade.
I can do anything tonight that doesnt involve an erection.
We were driving to the party as he was giving me key bumps.. That's what I call team work
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
It's my diet secret . . . it's like slimfast but I call it cockfast instead.
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
Nope I went the fuck home like an adult
I feel badly that he has cancer, but this does not mean I am obligated to have sex with him. Again.
Do you have any idea how awkward it was to type ‘dog twerking’ into google search? Because I don’t think you do.
Randomize
