last night you decided it was time to "get organized" and "straighten out your life." You pulled out a bag of troll dolls, sorted through them and got nostalgic. You demanded both andy and i take one and keep it forever.
she was drooling, sharted in her sleep, rolled over stuck her hand under the covers pulled it back out, smelled it and moaned and rolled back over. i almost added puke to the disgusting bodily fluid category.
Have u ever been so drunk that pissing urself felt like a better idea than walking to the bathroom? I entered those waters last night
his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
And surprisingly enough iPhone does not have an app for Russian mail order brides.
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
they found her hiding behind the couch trying to feed a cabbage patch doll a bottle of tequila. please tell me she's on birth control.
I positioned my bed perfectly so around 10 a.m. every morning there are rays of sunshine coming through the window in my room. Now i can tan while PTFO.
Its gonna be a symphony of fucks
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
Well, I'm hung over and my penis hurts - two signs of success
There’s a special place in hell for tall guys with small dicks
When I went to pick up Adam from the train station, I found him passed out, covered in gold paint and wrapped in a red blanket. someone had glued a gaudy green rhinestone to his forehead. He looked homeless.
So. Um. Hypothetically speaking...how would one get a squirrel out of the house?
i’n just gonna forge ahead, gag reflex be DAMNED.
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