They have edible shot glasses at target.
There really is a God.
you took out flashcards at the bar and went around asking guys what totalitarianism meant.
We started a mustache riot at white castle at 4 in the morning. Will explain in detail.
The polish Muslims are throwin paczkis into the crowd and I'm beer 6 before 11 am
It's one of the many facets of my drunken alter egos. I'm like substance abuse batman.
he ate me out on his front porch at dawn. i orgasmed when the sun began to rise. most romantic morning booty call ever.
I actually cannot wait for your visit. I miss people who make me look like the virgin mary in comparison.
I just held a marble with my kegel muscles for 5 min. You may call me COCKCLAMP 9000!!!!
It's called the dick transitive property. It states if you touch a person whilst they touch a dick, you are also touching said dick.
I wanna fuck that hideous moustache right off your face. get the confetti ready for the festivities
Look, sometimes you have to snapchat a topless photo of yourself in the middle of class just to prove you can. I can and I did. End of argument.
Now that I'm sober, I'm realizing you put your name in my phone as "wowww"
I know it was a good night because I got a lecture from my roommates mom about stranger danger
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
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