I can't remember last night. I must have yelled at your girlfriend til she cried again.
Yup.
On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
Tell me the dirtiest joke you know
Sarah Palin
god, I love you
it was like fucking gandolphs beard
stop texting me from phones in the verizon store and pretending to be guys i talked to when i was drunk. its confusing.
She just ended a sentence with "and he doesn't even mind my herpes..."
You have to stop getting hammered and preaching about that mission trip to Haiti.
Yes I want to fuck your friends but it's out of respect and love for you.
He was trying to be aggressive in bed, but in reality, it was like watching a declawed cat try to climb a curtain. They WANT it, they just can't DO it.
I'm not afraid to fist fight your child if I feel he is standing in between me and some tacos.
I wish a box of wine came w a hose. It'd be so much easier to drink from.
He refused to pierce my nipples, saying they are the best he's ever seen and that blemishing them would be a crime
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
Just let me pee on you and I'll leave you alone.
We're going through the drive-through at mcdonalds while pulling sam behind us in the wheelchair and having them hand him the food. Let me know how this went in the morning
Randomize
