he looks like a really good dad on facebook
My valentine's day: watching The Notebook, and porn, eating chocolate, and ice cream. All while jacking off.
Wow... you've managed to cover all of the sad girl stereotypes that exist.
on the way to work, i saw an empty wine bottle sitting in the middle of an intersection. i thought of you.
i can respect that.
Ya, because touching his brother's face for 20 minutes in front of him wasn't bad enough, I also threw up in his garden and stole like 10 of his shirts before I left. But I fed his dog, so it's okay.
Year anniversary in a month. Think I'll just give him a COME ON MY FACE FREE card. I'm both broke and shameless.
Sometime between a drunk guy asking me if I'm a Beach person or a lake person WHILE HIS HAND WAS IN HIS FUCKING PANTS or breaking up a lady fight over peewee football league I started to reevaluate my life and self
i woke up this morning and saw her in my bed and i said to myself, I think I might have a drinking problem.
One minute you were celebrating, the next you were bleeding all over your Nikes.
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
I jammed my finger giving him a hand job. Don't ask how, I'm still trying to figure that out.
Well I'm over here squandering a fabulous hair day and radiant complexion
Quick, I need a picture of your dick. Don't ask questions, just show me your genitals.
Made it to my hair appointment on time, and got some dick. Today is already a great day
i have paint on my face i'm missing my earrings, there's a bag of rice in my room, and i have a purse full of monopoly pieces
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
Randomize
