At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
Well unless he sent his sperm via fedex, this baby isnt his
he got a rim job in the basement.
apparently i was the one who gave it to him.
Ya I got a cut on my head from the toilet seat last time I drank there.
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
I feel like this is the moment of high where you have to write these texts down to remember to text them and feel that somehow this is important to the continuity of the world.
He is just a personification of a vodka hangover.
Yes. Sex with questionable women, and made of potatoes.
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
I've made a single handle of rum last like three weeks and my mom hasn't even acknowledged it.
We were sad, then we got horny, and then we needed some ranch
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
Just peed on the front lawn of the capital building. Great American.
Like sometimes I’ll be hangry but for dick
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