My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
i wish i could, but i promised myself i wouldn't sleep with anyone who couldn't grow a beard for a while. it's not you, it's crosby.
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
I feel compelled to tell you that I woke up this morning and found an entire corn on the cob in my purse. Ive decided not to question my drunken behavior anymore, and to just accept it as my lifestyle.
my shower just felt like jesus cried on me. like he shed tears just for my shower.
Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
dude i should have never cleaned my ears out while high. theres no going back.
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
It's like an R Kelly music video in here. Only a matter of time before someone pisses on someone
I just rolled an Obama blunt and a Romney shame joint for tonight. Vote wisely.
I saw this news story about two naked Satanists being arrested so I thought I should ask if you need bail money or pants
Haha! You know I mean that in a positive way. Like, "let them eat cake!" Or in our case, "let them achieve obesity from the two entree plate at Panda Express!"
Don't be alarmed by all the Dick cakes in the fridge. But please don't eat..i accidentally broke one in half you guys can eat that one. Its labeled free Dick
He totally fucked me in his Chewbacca socks
Randomize
