uhhh i just had a guy tell me he's seen more jam bands and done more drugs than i could err imagine. what a turn on.
i'm officially boycotting relationships. hello random hook ups and treating men like meat.
i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
You peed for a solid 5 minutes last night and turned around halfway through to give everyone watching a thumbs up
can you explain how you are here for one night and now my kitchen table is in 11 pieces..
You will not judge me for my made-up holiday of wine appreciation day
Why is there a keg in our kitchen? I'm not complaining but why is there a keg in our kitchen?
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
I would have cried, probably tears of wine, but cried nonetheless.
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
In other news, I just threw up my burrito and am currently on all fours literally crawling back to my bed
i just has to use a gift card to Target that one of my students parents got me to buy Plan B bc my bank account is -$0.08 so my 2017 is starting exactly how i pictured.
My friends said as soon as you walked in, I motor boated you like there was no tomorrow.
Yeah, I liked it.
She said "Im going to hug you" tried to give me a hickey then said her life sucks and started to cry.
Randomize
