Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
At least drunk me was smart enough to stash toilet paper in my bag before I started my walk home. Finally countless squat pees and wiping with grass taught me to be prepared.
To the person who left a cup of vomit in the bathroom: I commend you for your aim but you are dead to me- not an ideal birthday present.
He showed up 3 hours late wearing roller skates and acted like nothing was wrong with that.
I was crying hysterically and you wouldn't stop petting my ear and shushing me every time I tried to say something.
There were penises being pulled out everywhere.
I found out that rock climbing and alcohol does not go together. Ask my broken arm.
I climbed through his window to find him already with another booty call. This wouldn't have happened if I could upgrade from my 7th grade scooter to a real car.
…If I were you I wouldn't use that as part of your argument to your dad for a car
I'd help you out but I got Bacardi and Tequila poured down my snorkel last night and I'm still drunk
I don't know. I wanna do you but I also want a cheeseburger.
The highlight of the trip was definitely my dad telling me that I "used to be his prettiest daughter."
Just stole my moms weed, left a note saying sorry.. Hope she isn't mad.
It's not even noon yet and I just fucked my professor's son in the psych lab..it's gonna be a great day.
Randomize
