Sometimes I wonder if my friend studies mystic Christian theology because he's afraid to come out of the closet. Evidently, it's okay to talk about God coming inside you, but not to say the same about dudes.
Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
Dear male population: sorry for being such a dick tease but thanks for paying for my bar tab and drunk food
he wanted to have sex on the little rocking chair but i was too high to figure out how to do that so we did it on the floor.
he's having a long distance Facebook-coordinated power hour. the status update has 159 comments ...
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
he made his penis look like a sprinkler when he was coming. it was pretty cool actually.
What can I say, I bounce back quick. Never thought the line "my turtle died" would get me so many free drinks last night
She's dipping the chocolate graham crackers in marshmallow vodka for a 'campfire taste'
Dude it's bad when your 10 year old son makes fun of your penis size.
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
I have fuck me eyes 4/5 people agree. It's like doctors or dentists but with ppl who have lots of sex and know these things.
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
just threw up in a gas staton parking lot in front of a father and son. stared them in the eyes and finished like a boss
Randomize
