According to my dad, my tongue ring makes people assume I give a lot of blow jobs because, as stated by him "that's what it's for"
so i replaced his speed with my ped egg shaveings
dont u have athletes foot?
Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
Just got new surround sound speakers for my computer... I feel like I'm actually IN the porn now.
drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night
I just came up with the perfect plan. Once i'm a dentist i'm going to offer dad a million dollars to divorce mom.
What. The. Fuck. No, you will not spank me.
That wasn't intended for you, my bad.
I love how understanding people are when they hear we first hooked up getting high and watching nature shows
I just found a 2 minute video on my phone of you throwing up in a fake plant.
Then he started caressing my eye brow. Like repetedly. For at least 15 minutes. It was strangely mesmerizing
Ask him to BK for an ice cream cone and do him in the car. That counts as a date
I think someone shaved off all their pubes in the handicap stall or a werewolf stopped by the office to take a crAzy dump!
He just took off his shirt. I'll text you later.
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
Nothing kills the mood like opening another guy’s dick pic in bed
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