I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
The hookah bar is playing i'm on a boat. I believe in god again.
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
I sat down with you and helped you write your will last night. I was THAT convinced that you weren't waking up.
She uses my penis to point at the tv when we talk about the shows. I love her
Life lesson: When you compete in an impromptu "bloody mary chug-off," in the end, no one wins.
I walked out of the store holding my face and a lady pulled her daughter away from me as I then threwup in the parking lot
Attention ladies coming to the party tonight! Tonight will be another chance to win the 5 bucks for getting my cousin hard. Bring your a-game, no one has been able to overcome the whiskey dick yet. Good luck.
My mom just told me my dad shaves his pubes while drunk and I don't know how to feel anymore.
at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later
Why are we so great
Like I'm def going to a therapist but I wouldn't change a thing about us except maybe the peeing
I tried to take a cute nude but sneezed halfway through. I sent it anyway
This is why I only drink in places with a C or D health rating
i like coming up with different names when i reference that night. 'the night i got kicked out of the bar', 'the night i escaped from the hospital', 'the night we had that threeway'...
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
Randomize
