You can tell a man will be prosperous by the power of his farts- A fart that can shake the room is a voice that can change the world.
ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
he wanted to give me a nickname... my choices were superjugs,godzilla boobs or mouth of fury
you took out flashcards at the bar and went around asking guys what totalitarianism meant.
i just sent my parents are gone come over I have condoms to my mom because Derek changed my numbers while I was passed out
you thought you were invisible so you started narrating your actions.
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
If she asks the cat was vomiting before I fed it fried calamari
Jesus christ how hard is BRING SNACKS AND DRUGS to interpret? I trust your judgement on this one.
Thinking about adopting a 16 yr old here. Her name is Abby and she likes vodka. We've bonded. I need a sober driver n e ways...
DOMA is dead. I'm definitely going to be the last of our friends to get married now.
I have never fucking hated the horrible sound of dozens of off-key recorders BLARING their fucked rendition of "Fais Do-Do" in unison against the screams of an adult male... more than I do now. This is why people avoid teaching. Kill me. End it all.
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
I have a whole new respect for her. She chugged half a bottle of jack daniels, and then peed all over his wall. Serves him right.
Come over here. Bongs and porn. I found the promised land
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