actually, I'm a sock model
drunk at some random house party. come get me. i thought i pulled my dick out to go piss... it was my left nut. im soaked.
ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
i can't believe you bought a jetta. you know that's a girl car, right? if i hadn't had sex with you, i'd have no other proof you're straight.
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
What's the protocol on showing a video of me sucking the life out of my ex in order to prove beyond a doubt that I give great head???
Every now and then I'll meet one who is talented in the art of shower gymnast.
Apparently HR frowns upon current employees introducing themselves to the new employee as "Hi I'm sleeping with your cousin"
Ims textiofg thsi woht my noes bcuz my hansd aer stli handcuffde to teh bedfrme. Help me
I told him that we shouldn't complicate things. He responded with a dick pic.
Masturbating with Lord of the Rings on was not how I planned my afternoon going but here I am.
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
You mom sent me some article linking anal sex, damaged prostates and sterility. Does she still think your gonna go straight and have kids one day?
he had to stop me from eating snow off the street on the way back to pick up our cars. that's how hungover i am.
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
Randomize
