Her "get-your-paper-done-early-blowjob" incentive is the thing that has successfully deterred my procrastination
it's like, God thought about making her pretty then changed his mind at the last second
i told them to call me paula dean as i was making all 10 for $10 boxes of pizza rolls in the microwave
What type of outfit says "I know you slept with my boyfriend before and are also way skinnier than me, but I look better...somehow"
malibu coconut giveth, and malibu coconut taketh away
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
Nothing is more awkward than taking a dump while someone is crying in the bathroom.
It's like a challenge who can be the biggest embarrassment to the family. I win 80% of the time.
Not sure how a movie about Jesus has managed to make me feel insecure about my boobs but it has.
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
I'm wearing spiderman underwear, the question is what am I NOT capable of
The medical term is prolapsed anal walls if you want to look into it with dignity.
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
NO FUCKING RANDOMS IN AN ALLEY
He went three whole days without making a star wars reference, of course he got sex
Randomize