HOLY SHIT! Did you see the dick on that Great White Shark?!?!?!
Im already sauced. Have been for hours. Its kinda my thing.
we were naked in his bed and he told me all about what a "baller" alexander the great was.
They have a guy from new zealand living under their stairs.. they don't charge him rent. He just buys food and booze and bartends their house parties.
Apparently I mistakenly called the hair club for men at 3am... they called me back this morning.
if that blanket by the dog bowl was your dog's "bed" then i apologize to bailey for having sex on it
If it's any consolation, I've been sitting in the hallway in assless chaps for the past thirty minutes
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
She makes walking on a treadmill look like a porno. I wish I could send over shots as an ice breaker.
That's effing brilliant. We should start a business.
I'm starting to think you fell asleep on your kitchen floor pantless with salsa spilt around you
Come now. I'm bloody but I'll give you the best fuck of your life.
I can't wait for you to tell me about your sex.
It's a short, short story.
I'm making poor life decisions again. Tune in tomorrow to see how much I hate life.
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
Wtf happened last night
You traded your bra for a shot so I'd say you probably don't wanna know
Randomize
