And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
look, i may have sacrified a 20% assignment for a sprite. this is what hangovers do to me.
okay so i know you are missing your wallet but at least its not your tooth. i am missing my tooth.
He just became a fan of Chelsea Handler on Facebook. WHY DO I ALWAYS PICK THE GAY ONE
i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones.
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
HE HAS A FUCKING TWIN. HE HAS A TWIN. I'M NOT DRUNK THERE IS TWO OF THEM.
I will cut you
Oddly enough thats the second time today someones said that to me
Put that in perspective
Vegas is great, yelled at a guy 4 lanes over if he wanted a bj. ended up having sex in a vacant lot. I think he was homeless.
Do you hit a new low in life when you have to carry around a puke bag in your purse when you're hungover?
I didn't even mind that he came early I just wanted to get eaten out and cuddle
FUCK. EVERYONE MAKE MY CONTACT NAME DADDY ISSUES
It's not even 8pm on a Friday and I've already got a guy to tell me how big his penis is. Watched anything good on Netflix lately?
I Projectile vomited a massive question mark on Brent's bedroom wall. Don't tell him it was me. I want him to play the whodunit game.
Randomize