if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
Its a good thing the lights were off cuz Im pretty sure the look on my face when I touched his penis would have offended him
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
We have video of him nailing the sex doll to my wall and putting all the monopoly pieces in her nose
Look, we all have our slutty phases. Mine is just forever.
I am a human short and spout . Here is my jager Herr is my redbull . When i get real drink i shout out. Tip me over and pour yeager out
He kept checkin to make sure you were still alive after you passed out on his bed, After like the 4th time he walked back in there you were naked on his bed eating an apple, claiming he needed to be the Adam to your Eve..That drunk..
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
I don't know. What do people who don't get stoned do?
You know you're a heffer when you discover chocolate frosting on your smoking apparatus
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
Sorry I blacked out in bed
it was real late and you were brushing your teeth with miller light. it was bound to happen.
To the woman who just heard me unscrew my flask in the Denny's women's bathroom at 10am: discretion isn't required but greatly appreciated.
Did you at least share?
So, 'head before the store' turned into a fuck fest, & that's how I ended up at the grocery store smelling like a cum farm on Black Friday. How's your weekend?
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