Most awkward sex ever...
And im texting you in the middle.
he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
Pants on the Ground is the theme song of my life
He was really drunk and I dared him to jump the swimming pool on his bike. Sadly he couldn't. Hey did you know a testicle can burst?
your brother is wearing shin guards in the swimming pool. i have a feeling that this happens often
He's going to regret telling me he doesn't care if i shave or not...
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
what do i owe you?
$237.46 to be exact.
if im having that much fun on the weekend i better start remembering it.
how are things with the new girl?
good, we have nothing in common but she likes being choked
Sometimes turtles just really trip me out man
Mom got high last night and started crying because she feels bad for Paula Deen. This is my family.
You don't even know. The entire marching band thinks I'm an alcoholic.
I can't be held responsible for another man's penis.
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
After drinking all day I popped an adderal, slammed three beers in a row, apparently told the bartender "thanks bitch" then ran on stage.
Randomize
