I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
Why did we buy the only spinning apartment on campus?
Im already sauced. Have been for hours. Its kinda my thing.
we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
i went to go through my sent box of drunk texts from last night and they were all deleted... i'm going to assume drunk me made the executive decision that sober me would be better off not knowing what they said
Remeber when I drunkenly made out with him this summer while he was getting bitched at by his girlfriend on the phone? Yeah, neither do I. But I'm pretty sure that same thing happened again last night.
We probably shouldn't have forced that guys cat to drink the grey goose while we were doing lines in his bathroom
They both invited me to family dinner Sunday. Secretly dating two sisters just got real.
you can't tell me you didn't shit your pants I saw them in the trash can by the bathroom.
My nephew just told me I smell like apathy and regret. Thats the hangover I'm dealing with
I just realized I slept with a guy who used the pickup line "do you have a bandaid? I skinned my knee when I fell for you."
We have a shopping cart in our front lawn. Also Mickey D's breakfast?
The laundromat is nothing like In the pornos
She was gone when I unblacked out, but she had nailed her panties to the wall and wrote “Colleen’s Dick”with a sharpie on the wall. No idea where she got a hammer and nail
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