You tried to wear your Jesus costume into Family Christian stores and say it was a book signing.
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
It's gonna be pretty hard to find a homeless person that takes crackers as currency.
Cookies. Watch out fir falling satellites.
Sometimes I wonder if my parents know that I mean horny when I say lonely.
That's the only definition of lonely that I know.
She was humming during sex. After I asked her why, she said it was her sex theme music
Yeah I don't even know dude. This shit has reached new levels of ridiculous. Let's hope baby Jesus gallops down a rainbow on a sparkling unicorn and wills that bitch clean. I think that's the best chance we've got.
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
Apparently, the right response to, "How do you feel about a terrorist being in the area?" isn't, "Well, we have vodka in the freezer, so we're good for now."
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
Random one night stand with a guy that had a USA tattoo on his ass. Can't possibly get more American than that
The hair on my legs is officially flapping in the breeze when I walk. I must say, being single does have perks and this is one of them.
Regardless of how one feels after a break up, whiskey must be consumed.
So now I'm just going to brush my teeth, get high, and go to sleep. Like an adult
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