He came on me while singing crank dat like soulja boy, fuck our sex life has reached a whole new level of low
We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
His sister just told me that she thinks i'm a stupid bitch and that by going thru with this I'm ruining his life.
sounds like a hell of a rehearsal dinner
He texted me for drugs this time. Not sex. I dunno if I should be pleased it's not sex or disappointed that I come across as a druggie
What do you need? A swimsuit and a liver of steel? What else?
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
Just smoked pot with a guy who has apparently been living in the woods for over a month. He just walked out of the woods. This is not real life.
Pretty sure I'm about to get another tattoo. It'll have mom in there somewhere for Mother's Day.
Shouting "one vagina to rule them all" was probably not the best way to meet our best mates fiance
P.S. If you wake up before noon it still counts as morning sex
It's not above me to sleep with him solely for his authentic budweiser shirt
He wouldn't shut up so I started sending him pictures of animal dicks
I just found out how I got home last night. The bartenders found me sitting in the brush peeing and called me a cab. Have you seen my underwear?
How did you get so drunk?
Alcohol.
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
Randomize
