The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
Can you believe The 5th Element didn't get best fight scene in 1997?! I'm still bitter. 12 years later.
Haha how do you remember that?
HOW COULD I FORGET?!
She had been watching Bad Girls Club where the annoying girl always says "I RUN L.A.". After she got wasted she kept going up to strangers at the bar yelling "I RUN FAYETTEVILLE." I peed in her drink.
So we were banging and she started puking all over my bed. I'm not sure what's worse, her puking, or that I felt the urge to start singing Flip-adelphia.
He was passed out on the floor holding a beer can, rolled over switched hands and never spilled a drop. We need to practice.
sitting on the counter. eating honey. crying, because coldplay sounds beautiful on the radio. highhhhh as the sky
I have never heard someone not give a fuck so poetically in my life. I feel like you should be leading men into battle with a speech like that
After hearing her fall down in the shower for the third time, I decided to go check on her.
What drugs are we doing when you visit?
The correct answer is all the drugs because I just found out they have glow in the dark bubbles.
Just realized I used a picture of my little sister to holler at a guy, only 3 months old and she's already my wingman.
The impact your presence has on my vagina without even putting your hands on me is quite astonishing, impressive and a little disturbing.
The closest I'll come to committing is leaving sex toys at their house
Not really how I planned to achieve immortality, but I'll take it.
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
Randomize
