i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
im in an endless cycle of being too hung over to eat all day...then getting too drunk because i didnt eat anything. where is my life going?
the only bad part about drinking alone is that in the morning there's nobody who can tell you what you did
Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
She literally pulled the door off the hinges and "dropped" it down the stairs... Do I just say 'good job' and put her to sleep?
I accused the cab driver of smoking weed in the taxi then I remember it was me.
A check for $9 that I used to buy six boxes of Girl Scout cookies bounced. I think I've hit a new low.
How long until you're healed?
Physically? A week or so. Emotionally? The scars of dislocating my knee at a frat and flashing my panties to the whole crowd wi never heal.
I told the cops they couldn't arrest me until they found my shoe. Now I have the grant county cops looking for my heels by the rail road tracks.
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
Black labs can get you to do pretty much anything...even approach strange men in their bath robes
She made me undress her with my teeth...explains the button in my shit this morning...
I just threw up on the way to class. Legit, on the sidewalk by psych building.
THAT WAS YOU? Psych prof just pointed out the window and said "that kids, is why you don't pregame before class"
Randomize
