i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
so i wake up and the chick who i had sex last night left her phone number. next to the number was a broken condom. should i call?
she said, and i quote, "i want to black out with my rack out"
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
I don't know if I should be scared or excited that I can officially drink vodka on the rocks like it's 7up.
Got a 72 hour restraining order. Can we meet monday? Let me know!
Snaps to my Ella Fitzgerald station for such a jazzy walk of shame
I'll like his pictures on Instagram every once and a while so that when he sees my name he is reminded of the best blow job he's ever gotten.
Why is there a slipper full of piss in my bedroom?
I'm beginning a new chapter of my life in which our fridge will always be stocked with jello shots. I'm excited to embark down this road to fruity, semi-solid alcoholism.
so we just got back from swapping peoples patio furniture around to different patios. some people might like unexpected change. others might regret living on the ground floor.
I just apologized to a wet floor sign i walked into.
Randomize
