Bro, I met the coolest hottest chick tonight and she has the hottest friends.
Where are you?
Strip Club
I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
She's like Mona Lisa when she's intoxicated. No one understands her but they all think she's marvelous
i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
Eating meat and looking at porn while roommate is at church for Ash Wednesday. Win.
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
i got us a cheese tray and a bottle of whiskey
ugh yes i love our date nights
After they flagged you, you hid in a bathroom stall and text me to bring you more shots. That kind of drunk.
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
Seriously though, you almost tore my right nipple off.
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
Sorry you had to clean the sheets with your macro notes
It might be whiskey, but I view Marge and Homer Simpson as something to strive for
Just to clarify, i'm coming over for tacos not a threesome
And how about the fact that the first time i really truly looked at a guy's dick was in my car. MY CAR. GODDAMNIT!!!
Randomize
