too bad you live with your parents still
does the new i-phone have a pregnancy test app?
I wish you had a penis so you could experience peeing out the window in front of a crowd of people leaving parties.
Sometimes I think that I have too much self esteem
Then I realize that I'm just really fucking pretty.
I swear to God, I just heard my guardian angel tell us to stop. I think we should listen.
I swear the pregnant cashier was jealous when I bought my plan B
So someone just pointed out to me that during dinner, I mentioned more women that I'm attracted to than men. The transition might be complete. I'm gay.
Once he blows his load, he's more of an immediate flight risk than that jetBlue pilot. He's out the door before his cum is out of my vajayjay.
can we just pause for one second and address the fact that balls were out last night
We're just Facebook friends. Use guy logic. I tapped your wife in high school, 20 years and 60 lbs ago, when she was hot and experimental. Why would I mess with that now? It would ruin the vivid memories of her that I keep in my spank bank.
I will find you...
And then I told him since the day he walked away to get over what I went through he lost the boyfriend right to ask why my bed is broken.
I take full pride in being the one that broke ur bed. Want to go for the sofa?
That tingly feeling you're experiencing in your lady parts is my mustache. All the ladies of America are waking up feeling the same thing. You're welcome.
She actually purred while I was balls deep in her! I have never been so proud to buy plan b at 6:30 in the morning.
I wish my nipples were as well behaved as yours.
ps why does my dog smell like popcorn and a dryer sheet..?
Randomize
