Come get meeee. I'm stranded in the middle of no where with Paul (?). I think u puked on his friend.
dude i woke up to 20 missed calls from you, 3 from a blocked number and had 13 voicemails that all said "send me a picture of your tits."
so im guessing thats a no.....
I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet
She asked if you knew her boyfriend, and you responded that you "think you gave him head once" and then hiccupped.
We're gonna go drive around campus and throw water balloons at all the drunk bitches wobbling around, wanna come?
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
I have a weapon and I'm not blacked out. Good as gold
The ideal thing to do next party is to tape my boobs down so they don't knock over the pong cups while playing defense. They came back to hurt us this time
I saw this news story about two naked Satanists being arrested so I thought I should ask if you need bail money or pants
Yeah but sometimes your vagina needs to be fed and when we are drunk we tend to eat junk food
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
This is the fifth time tonight that girl has taken off my pants. Take me home. Now.
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
Randomize
