dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
I think a homeless person took a bath in my mouth while I was sleeping :(
Only at my house do scrabble games turn into fist fights. I won though... the fight not the board game.
Clearly, I'm already going to hell, so there's no point in trying anymore.
you think she would figure it out that ever dude that fucks her is just doing it bc they are in a contest to bang the fattest girl
Level of drunkenness: just now when I sat down on the toilet, I had to double check to make sure I wasn't sitting on somebody's lap.
I think the taxi driver just requested me on facebook..... his name was george right?
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
I just windexed my mirror headboard, Lets get to work.
Using Michelob Ultra as champagne.
Do you have any pictures of me mounting animals that aren't on Facebook?
I may have just tried to argue quantum entanglement as the reason I was still in her bed.
I'm gonna give the church their tithe, and the rest is a down payment on boobs.
In this house, we have but one simple rule: DONT FUCKIN TOUCH MY STUFF OR I'LL CUT YOUR NECK IN UR SLEEP
No. I'm home alone and 100% dickless. I hate my life.
Randomize
