it doesn't mae me god, the fact that I am god makes getting dressed futile and tedious... btw i am still drunk
i have your red jacket for some reason. and a good deal of shame and embarasment. note to self, wear underwear when you wear a dress. also, i was electrocuted last night. dont ask how.
so..some girl walked up to me on the porch last night. She came to apologize for peeing on our lawn a few days ago. I just looked at her and said it was ok, she wasn't the first.
I was just like staring at the lawn boy while singing "You Belong With Me".
I am the king of creep.
It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
Worst relationship ever. Keep in mind I've dated two married chicks and a Mormon.
I mean its cheating, but i figure i've made out wiht married chicks before so its like a nicotine patch, quitting by doing less and less each day
Drag queen told me that I have the cheek bones to do drag. That's supposed to boost my moral.
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
He always takes me to get taco bell after we hook up in his car. It's sort of become a booty call tradition.
On a Thurs night I found myself drunk in a limo w 9 dudes on my way to a strip club. Once there I was handed $100 in ones and told "spend it." I need a husband. Or Jesus.
You are under a naked attack watch for the whole weekend. Shelter in place.
he's 22 and listens to dad music. if i hear one more modest mouse song i'll never blow him again
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
Randomize
