How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
Astroglide: It's like Bengay for your ass.
I wanted to take a shower but I forgot we made applesauce in it last night.
sorry about having a shotput competition with your microwave, seemed like a good idea at the time
Her facebook status said "just got a sign from god". I texted her and apparently she found a slice of pizza in the shower.
You almost married that.
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
It's fucking New Year's. I can be soberish in 2013 after tonight. It's like the 30 years of grey area between Jesus' birth and death.
Fucking holidays. How do I have this many men who want to fuck me and none of them are available when I'm ready to blow my top?
The zoom feature on snap chat videos is the worst thing to ever happen to sexting
Drunk field day, hangover yoga and sober archery practice
what happened last night?
we watched you eat an entire bag of dorritos in the pouring rain... you refused to come inside
Randomize
