I'm half single.
Please tell me it's the bottom half.
Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
you would pick up someone in the library
My poor mother should have just stuffed me back up her vagina when she had the chance.
But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
I woke up after 12 hours of being wildly intoxicated, got jizz on my face, and woke up in a different bed than I passed out in. My makeup is still perfect. I'm writing Revlon a thank you note.
Sorry about last night..I didnt realize how drunk you were and when I closed the door it caused you to slam into the mirror...you'll probably piece together the puzzle when you read this and see your hand.
You spent about half an hour trying to convince me that mesh condoms were a good idea.
I'd be a gr8 surrogate. I'm gonna love your fetus
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
We dug deep emotionally while eating cereal
No more weed for you
I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis.
Omg yes! I just found a random muffin! Don't question it. Just praise the miracle.
I got home at 1 am on a weeknight with lube in my hair. I'd say it was a successful first date.
He tried to eat me out...through my pants.
Randomize
