I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
for future reference: even when 4 loko is flat it still fucks you up. im near a tree. come find me.
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
I feel miserable and there's nutella all over my phone
I still can't believe he turned down that threesome with us in central park. He must be really committed.
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
is year to celebrate how much I love you, I made a mosaic of your penis with conversation hearts. it's in your mailbox.\n\nHAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY TO YOU
We're having chugging races with long island ice tea, I won. To often
Celebrated the veterans I suppose, my mouth tastes of gin and black outs
You can laugh all you want but 99 grapes is a lot stronger than what you were drinking.
He called me saying he got nice rims for his car so now we can fuck in style
And besides a nice relationship, I just really want to get laid damnit
It's not as funny as it sounds. I shit myself at the company Christmas party.
I just gave them my two week notice. Now is the perfect time to fuck my boss's son
Somewhere on my work laptop I have a map visualizing all the area codes that Ludacris has ho's
I hope that wasn't done on billed time
I can guarantee that it was
Randomize
