operation harelip BJ is a go
You covered in salsa con queso would take care of all of my cravings right now
so sad. i just ate the last good 'n' plenty out of the bottom of my purse.
Just fucked in his moms tanning bed. While it was on. Weirdest. Tan. Ever.
I walked in and she was doing shots, betting the managers if any of the customers would notice, and screaming that nothing would ruin her Saturday night. Say what you want, I like working with my sister.
I'm drunk at the doctor. It's not that fun. Overrated in fact.
I don't think there was a moment this weekend where grey goose did not course through my veins
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
It's like leaving me for his wife wasn't enough. He had to give me an STD too.
Beer and cheesecake and spinning in cirlcles why did you let me do this to myself
And I can say one thing, I look pretty good in high wasted pants. I don't know if that helps. But I do. God I'm high.
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
I just love that it's Veterans Day because I know in my heart that I have serviced some of their brethren in the dirtiest, hottest, most shameful ways possible.
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
PLEASE LET MY BIRD FUCK YOUR BIRD
Randomize
