Scream out, "Tax-Free dick over here" in the bar. Ladies love tax free stuff
honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
After I threw him out he walked down the street peeing in stride. I almost wanted to let him back in.
These old men are woofing at me..PLEASE HURRY
Um....sorry for hooking up with your brother last night...
Actually i take that back. You dropped the whiskey last night and broke the bottle. Were even
If you would give me the chance we might have the two separate pieces of the greatest fuck puzzle ever.
He did plead exhaustion. And I made him push through it. I am like the motherfucking badass football coach of sex.
she never specifically said NOT to fuck her boyfriend so technically we can still be best friends
HOLY FUCK I JUST GOT WOKEN UP BY THUNDER!!!!!
I THINK I SHARTED
My birthday is in 11 days. Going ham. Consciousness will not be an option
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
Keywords: shitstorm, police, jail.
In local news "Man Stabbed With Golf Club" next person who tells me this is a safe place to live gets punched...
Teach me the ways of your demonic sorcery.
When you start lapping your martini like a cat it's time to go home. Partys over.
Randomize
