Got home from the bar at 4am. 100% sober, unlaid. Epic fail or responsible behavior?
Responsible fail?
watching jon and kate + 8 right now is like watching my parents split up
just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
I brought red and green boonsfarm to the white elephant party. classy and festive. I think this is what people are referring to when they talk about killing two birds with one stone.
he is the anna nicole to my 90 year-old billionaire. i'm grateful that he's fucking me, so i'm buying him shit.
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
For future reference, never invite the people you met at Dunkin Donuts at 2am to your house to watch Dogma
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
If I am going to pay someone to make me puke, it's going to be the bartender.
So are you still down for me to come stay with you and just have sex on vicodin all weekend?
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The best part about this city is obvious. Someone saw me crouching by a bar pissing in my leftover Panera bread bowl and they just winked.
Bored at work. googling vodka waffles.
Let's put it this way. Mom is bringing me a new shirt and I smell like lube.
I'd like to have a moment of silence for all the dicks she's broken off
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