Stoned at DSW. SO MANY SHOES! THEY'RE FREAKING ME OUT.
You totally narrated your dogs thoughts for 2 and a half hours last night, and I was enthralled. I didn't say one word, I just listened.
Just got kicked in the balls by a girl in tap shoes. Fuck EVERYTHING
so i just realized i am an alcoholic. I was making some tomato soup because im still sick, and put vodka in it. sad huh? lets go out!
For some reason there are two like 10 year old black girls crumping at the bar. I feel like I'm in a missy elliot video.
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
I dont even care how hung over I am, and how shitty this bus ride will be. That was the best sex of my life and it's a beautiful morning.
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
When did it become normal to wake up in the middle of the night to take a group bathroom break and have a 10 minute discussion on where the next football game is?
I could not handle jail. And my very angry parents.
sometimes a perk of being a drug dealer is amazon gift cards. who knew?
i would stab him if he didn't just tell me he is a priest
I didn't want him to hear me sneaking in. The doggie door was the perfect solution.
He corrected my spelling during sexting.
My mum just told me to stop being so pathetic and just find someone to have sex with, even if I don't like them, just be grateful for the sex. Wow.
Randomize
