u cheatin on me?
if i did i would try to upgrade babe.
he started yelling "this is my pussy" mid thrust
I get drunk and say inappropriate things... you get drunk and sleep with inappropriate people. it's what we do.
Improvement. She went from pretending she was the soccer ball in the world cup games and it hurt when they kicked her to passed out on the floor.
She started to rub her ass on my shoulder and i instantly thought "i am going to get E. Coli"
She wore that goddamn strap-on all night. When she was playing guitar hero it kept getting in the way but she just wouldn't take it off.
Jacob lost his virginity in a threesome. I am deffs fucking this kid.
DURING A THUNDERSTORM ON HIS BIRTHDAY.
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
That's good. Don't want to see you bellydancing in prison for homemade wine.
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
Is there a classy way to tell him that to thank him for his service I would like to put his dick in my mouth?
"Happy Veterans Day! Now pull down your pants."
its not even a love triangle. its a love square and it has come back to haunt me
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
Thanks for not letting me choke to death on my vomit last night
Thank you for attempting to organize my DVDs in chronological and alphbetical order
Alcohol and I aren't friends right now.
Randomize
