I'm jammin out to some Brit Birt, she's still my bitch, I love her crazy ass
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
oh my god, there is an imprint from the nuva ring in the christmas card my mom sent me. merry christmas.
I woke up covered in sausage cart mustard and champagne
Did my good deed for the day.. Helped an old guy hide his beer on the NJ transit while the ticket lady came by
Why is there a school picture of an 8 year old boy in my pocket...?
Tell your friends I said hi and that if they touch your penis I'll cut off their hands.
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
You drunkenly hook up with 5 people in one night and suddenly everyone tries to party with you.
He's doing his thing where I don't know if he's alive until three in the afternoon so idk
Please tell me I didn't try to make out with a 70 year old Romanian man last night ...
we watched a porno and made a drinking game out of it. best first date ever.
Dipping my sugar cookies in a glass of fireball and creme soda. This is holiday spirit
Oh well, he'll live. He has a hand and a penis.
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
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