and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
fuck yea just found my unicorn costume from when i was 8... still fits
Abreva sucks. I applied it as directed and now it looks like I fed the herpes. They're throwing a party on my bottom lip.
We started a mustache riot at white castle at 4 in the morning. Will explain in detail.
did i paint my nails blue or do i need to make a trip to the ER?
Tonight when I'm getting a bj from a stripper I'm gonna imagine it's you bobbing down there
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
You told me you aren't worried about the police that you've been training for this an that the last three months of your life have been devoted to building up your stun gun tolerance and pepper spray recovery time.
He could have been a one armed faceless howler monkey. I was so slammered that I didn't care what I was having sex with or if whatever it was... was doing it right.
Well, we broke up and instead of putting my shit out on the curb like a normal person, she fucking donated everything to Goodwill. So now I have to pay two dollars for one of my own t shirts.
We took a walk on the beach after the bar, he held my hand and kissed me. And then I peed under a lifeguard stand. It was so romantic.
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
I really don’t want to have kids.
I thought we agreed we were done with dirty talk for the day
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