I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
Hairspray is covering 85% of my body. Help.
Wait until you see the roof.
if i actually bought condoms for every time i had sex, i could single handedly fix the economy
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
At some point tonight the bad ideas in my head became bad decisions that happened outside my head
She just came home holding a fire hydrant. Yes a fire hydrant.
Yes she was blowing me but I couldnt see her face. The only light was from the sparklers she asked me to hold. I love 4th of July.
I've been watching porn with my cat lately. No shame
In an unrelated matter, im gonna eat you out so much later.
She broke up with me after I spent the whole day speaking in nothing but Marshawn Lynch quotes.
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
I'm actually on the verge of cancelling a booty call because I have an early meeting tomorrow. If this is what adulthood is going to be like, I'll pass.
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
I’m not washing my pussy with handsoap.
Randomize
