Me= Watching Ferngully. My neighbor= Having really loud sex including multiple orgasms
Oh God
I know, but the worst part is I'm not really sure which I'd rather be doing. Feel free to re-evaluate our friendship
She's in the bathroom crying cuz she can't get the condom out of her giner. Do you have tongs?
She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
My drug dealer is spending the weekend in my studio apartment. I feel like I've crossed a line that should never be crossed.
We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
I need to get skinnier so that I know when pregnancy scares are real...
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
I would say I'm the man in the relationship but I'm cuddled on the couch eating cake mix and water.
i remember going to sleep after the 4th time i threw up this morning and hoping i didn't have to again because then it would be uneven between saturday and sunday. my ocd is getting out of control
Thank you contacting dial-a-boner. Currently, our boner is on a run to service another client. You can either wait 2 hours for service, or share concurrent service with the current client.
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
Dude, please tell me you know why there's a naked chick asleep outside my room.
Well I'm in a stranger's bed.
Gotta leave to watch the Lions
Well I finally got to say all the things I wanted to say. Including telling him he looks like a naked mole rat
She flirted with a pilot and a frat boy at the airport in Vegas and told our bartender his mask matched her panties so yeah I’d say she’s rebounding from the divorce
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