at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
The cab driver just finished telling me how leaving community college after one month was the best desicion he ever made.
Signed everyone in my dorm up for free samples of astroglyde. Took me an hour. Happy new years!!!!!
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
I just wanted to give you a heads up. There's a crab in the kitchen. He doesn't have a name yet. We are just calling him crab for now. Oh! and we have memosas!
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
Dude, double fisting packs of Ramen saved my life last night
We don't have any ice, so I'm using the frozen cognac to reduce the swelling on Abby's toe.
I try not to have friends with attractive fathers, it only brings my morals down.
I have poison ivy and a broken finger. Don't have a threesome in the woods.
Well if you don't want to be kicked out before last call don't I would suggest stop drinking whiskey and don't call the giant bouncer with the neck tattoo "princess"
That's right. I just LL Cool J'ed you up in this bitch. Zero fucks.
I woke up only wearing a Breaking Bad "Los Pollos Hermanos" apron he got from Loot Crate next to a 3 empty bottles of Zima,Jolly Ranchers, and a jar of coconut oil. Fernet is one hell of a party starter
I mean, drunk me really liked him, maybe sober me will too. Who am I to deny fate?
Do you know how hard it is to have sex on an air matress while there are people sleeping in the same room?!?!?
Randomize
