Moan for me like Helen Keller
Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
Apparently I grabbed her ponytail and cut it with an exacto knife.
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
I bought 2 40s with winning lottery tickets and they paid me $.03. 'Merica
Just called the consul general of France "dude"
And the cops are back. At least my pants are on this time
Well, if worst comes to worst, I have pictures of his penis that I can put on the internet
He also told me he would eat mozzarella sticks before having sex with me so I'm mad at him.
Woke up at noon, still drunk, naked, with another girl next to me. When she wakes up, I'm gonna have my SECOND lesbian experience with her. How's your 2015 going?
Why did u text me "I want to get drunk and go to pizza hut tomorrow. don't let me forget." at 3am??
That text was pretty fucking self-explanatory, man.
I'm drunk and kinda wanna go home but now I have to go have more sex, my boxers are in the dryer
If you really hate him do what I do: give him an amazing night of unforgettable sex then dump him. You’ll ruin sex for him because new girls won’t compare
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